When I was 28 I tried to squeeze myself into a pair of skinny jeans. They were all the rage and I wanted in on the trend. But being voluptuous and vertically challenged (short and fat) it was never going to happen. I couldn’t even get the wretched denim over my thighs.

It wasn’t my finest moment, but at least I got to experience it alone in the privacy of a tiny changing room. I didn’t escape my reflection though – face flushed and body contorted – it wasn’t a pretty sight.

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